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Why Imposter Syndrome Is A Control Issue

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As a multifaceted woman who wears many hats and honors many titles (gah, can y’all relate?!), the one I’m most proud of is encourager.

Meet Courtney

There’s been a recent request for me to discuss imposter syndrome, so here we go.

Essentially (as we all know) imposter syndrome is hot garbage. It’s a made up set of stories our brains trick us with that a) aren’t true and b) are designed to keep us small. 

In the words of my two year old: “I say no thank you.”

Now, I do have to give our brains at least a teensy shoutout. 

They are incredibly powerful machines and are SO freaking smart. It’s kinda wild when you think about it. 

And in these instances of made up stories, while our brain is trying its darndest to keep us safe (thanks brain, I appreciate ya watching out for me!) it’s going about it in a way that doesn’t actually serve us or others

So as the gentle observer of my life, I simply thank it for doing its job and move on.

No subscribing to the thoughts, no listening to the thoughts, no believing the thoughts – because as we know, they aren’t true and they’re designed to keep us small – so why waste time, energy, brain power and other resources on hot garbage

Seriously, though.

Now, here comes the juicy part…

Imposter syndrome is a control issue. 

And you’re struggling with it and holding on to it because you desire to control how others perceive you, what they think and say about you and how they feel about you. Dare I say, it’s your safe space. 

More hot garbage alert. 

Maybe imposter syndrome is an issue for you because you’re not quite comfortable with being yourself. 

Or maybe you’re comfortable with being you, but you aren’t yet comfortable with being fully seen. Yes, there’s a difference.

But hey, wanna kick it to the curb once and for all?

Quit giving an eff about what other people think. 

No, I’m not kidding. 

Quit giving an eff. 

You can accomplish this by simply feeling your feelings and realizing you won’t die from feeling them. 

That’s right. Read it again. 

You can feel dumb, silly, embarrassed, humiliated, etc. and not have it mean anything

Your unwillingness to feel these feelings and instead constantly circumventing them, trying to put a bandaid over them, fixing them and correcting them is exactly what keeps the imposter syndrome hamster wheel alive. 

I promise that once you feel your feelings (and surprise, you don’t die!) you’ll soon stop caring what other people think, because you’ll realize what you’re actually afraid of in the first place is completely and totally harmless

So, stop trying to control the uncontrollable.

Let go of how people see you and spend some time focusing on how you see yourself. 

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