Uncategorized

Stop This, Start That

POST: 33 Lessons i learned from professional basketball

FREE guide: 11 Things You Can Do Today To Unlock Your Next Level

You'll also love

tell me more

As a multifaceted woman who wears many hats and honors many titles (gah, can y’all relate?!), the one I’m most proud of is encourager.

Meet Courtney

Brrr! Fall has *officially* arrived in Georgia now, because well, the lows are in the 40s in the morning and at night, and y’all, I’M COLD.

Anyways, have you ever noticed when you get ready to do something really cool and big and positive in your life, like, something you want, desire, are excited by and dare I say IS YOUR CALLING that you start talking funny? 

Chances are, you actually probably don’t notice it. But, it’s called contingency language. 

It’s the “I’m gonna try to X” or “My plan is to Y” or “I’m hoping to Z” or “If it all works out, ABC 123 is the goal” etc etc etc 

Now that I’ve pointed it out, you probably do know what I’m talking about. 

Here’s the thing – none of us use this language when we go about our normal everyday lives. 

Nobody says “I’m gonna give it my best shot to get the mail today” or “I’m really hoping to be able to drive home from work” or “If it all works out, I may be able to put the groceries away”

Nope. We just mention what we’re doing and go do it. “I’m gonna go get the mail” or “I’m taking the dog for a walk” or “I’m folding the laundry and then taking a shower” 

Ever wonder why this is?

It’s because we have what’s known as confident expectation with regards to these things. We speak about them as if they are simply going to happen and we believe that and so we go make them happen. 

It’s actually pretty simple. 

So, when we get ready to expand in other areas of our lives (note: I’m not talking personal hygiene, commuting patterns or household chores here) why do we choose to speak in this dreaded contingency language instead of with confident expectation?

There’s no good or valid or honorable reason for it. And it’s all one big fat lie designed to hold us back and stay stuck. 

Sure, there are reasons and I know them all too well. 

Fear. Self doubt. Feelings of not being worthy. Thinking I’m not “that” kind of person and “those” kinds of things don’t happen to me. That expansion isn’t safe. That earning and receiving isn’t allowed. That “but what if I say I’m going to do X and then for some weird reason it doesn’t actually happen, or I change my mind or I do something else instead? What will people think of me and say about me?” And that if all these good things do happen to me (newsflash: they will, they’re already in motion for you), surely bad things will have to follow. That’s just how life works, right?

No friend, that’s NOT how it works. And somebody needs to tell you that. There you go, I said it. 

So as you go about your morning, day and week, keep tabs on your contingency language. 

You’ll be surprised at how often you’re doing it and not even realizing it. I catch myself all the time and this is something I’m personally dedicated to and focused on. It’s that ingrained in us! 

Instead, flip the script to confident expectation. And if you want to be someone, do something or have something…just go be, do and have. Seriously, that’s it. 

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *